VIRUS ETIQUETTE
Top 10 Pandemic Good Manners and Etiquette
- Practice Social distancing
- Hygiene – Hand washing
- Looking out for one another (family, friends, neighbors, elderly)
- Staying home, avoiding crowds and gatherings
- When shopping for essentials buy what you need, no hoarding, (think of others just like you, that also need these essentials)
- Coughing and/or sneezing, only onto inner elbow or one time use of tissue
- Wear mask when out in public and gloves when needed
- Rude people encounters, or people that do not follow government guidelines, avoid arguments or confrontation, lead by example, say what you want in a calm and kind tone, never use the same negative words, and mostly do not loose your temper
- Focus on health, healing and staying positive, good health starts with a good mental attitude
- Practice kindness and compassion with everyone, but most importantly with those who need it most
Miss Mathilde’s Three Golden Rules For Good Manners (K.E.R.)
K=Kind, E=Embarrass, R=Regret
1. Be Kind
2. Do Not Embarrass
3. Do Not Regret
Miss Mathilde’s Three Golden Rules of Dining
1. Only edible items on the table (no phone, keys, purse…)
2. What touches the mouth does not touch the table
3. Once utensils are picked up they never return on the table (but only on a plate)
“The best index to a person’s character is how a person treats people
who can’t do them any good or can’t fight back.”
Abigail Van Buren
What does it mean to have good manners and etiquette?
Good manners and etiquette are not simply rules, laws and guidelines to live by. They encompass so much more that is not tangible-like morality, kindness, goodness, integrity, honor, honesty and consideration- for your fellow human being. Values that are quintessential to civility and correct behavior.
Correct Behavior
Correct behavior is not a science, it is the art of humanity. One’s knowledge of proper behavior intertwined with ones morals and with ones ability to choose right over wrong. Choosing to be good no matter how hard the situation is. To care about the other person’s feelings. To treat people the way we want to be treated. To talk to people the way we want to be talked to. Learning these values are an integral part of good manners and etiquette more so than learning the etiquette needed to write a proper invitation, send a proper thank you, set a table correctly or learn the proper way to use flatware and to eat certain foods. One will soon forget someone’s mistake in using the wrong fork but one will not forget someone being cruel and inconsiderate.
“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners”
Laurence Sterne
“Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.” – Buddha
Rude vs. Good
Good manners and etiquette are making a comeback. It seems like society is waking up from a long sleep. The reality of which is a world full of rude, inconsiderate and impatient people. There was a time when good manners and etiquette were not left out of schools curriculum and were taught at school as well as at home. The result was a society that valued good manners and etiquette.
Are we setting a good example?
Today the task is greater; we want kids to be polite and well mannered and grow up to be responsible, respectful and courteous individuals. Yet are we setting a good example? We cannot expect kids to become paragon of virtues on their own. We all must learn and teach good manners and etiquette, respect and kindness. Given that it is no longer in the hands of the public domain it is our responsibility to start learning these indispensable rules of conduct; in order to correct the good manners and etiquette void of the last decades.
“Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct the greater.”
Mark Twain
Top 6 Manners Kids Should Possess;
1) Greetings ; Hello, Good Morning, Good Day
2) Please and Thank You
3) I am Sorry
4) Can I Help
5) We can Share
6) Good Bye
3 Things to Know About Formal Dinner Table Setting
1. You Should not Find More than Three Forks and Three Knives at the Dinner Table
2. The Only Fork that goes on the Right of the Dinner Plate is the Cocktail Fork
3. The Finger Bowl is Brought After Dinner Before Dessert
9 Etiquette Mistakes
2. Waiting Too Long to Send a Thank You Card
3. Not Holding the Door for the Person Behind You
4. Talking While the National Anthem is Playing
5. Talking on Your Cell Phone in Crowded Public Areas
6. Getting Up in the Middle of a Performance/Movie Theatre
7. Interrupting Someone while they are Speaking
8. Ignoring Someone at the Dinner Table
9. Showing Off or Bragging
6 Things You Should Not Do at the Dinner Table
1. Start Eating before the Host
2. Return Utensils Back Onto Table Once Used; Always Lay Them Onto Your Plate
3. Leave the Table While People are Still Eating
4. Use Your Knife as a Pointer While Speaking
5. Talk on the Phone/Texting
6. Talk About Sensitive Subjects (Politics, Religion, Self, Sex)
5 Things You Must Know about Table-Setting
1) Forks Placed Left of Dinner Plate
2) Knives Placed Right of Dinner Plate
3) Spoons Placed Right of Dinner Plate or Right of Knives
4) Glasses Placed Top Right Above Knives
5) Bread Plate Placed Top Left Above Forks
“Good Manners and Etiquette- A Beginner’s Guide to Everything Proper“ by Mathilde Benmoha
An easy-to-follow step by step book for learning the basics and more. CLICK HERE for the print book. CLICK HERE to purchase the ebook.
B’H
Democracy and Civility
America wake up! The world is watching!
How do I start this letter?
There is so much that needs to be addressed. I feel like America as we knew it, is slowly disappearing. Things are changing and not always for the better.
I always believed that the US was the most beautiful example of democracy.
I am an outside observer of what is happening in America.
I am not an American, but I admired America; I saw America as a country that led by example.
America the great, feared and respected by most countries in the world.
America stood for core values.
Values that we all aspire to emulate, such as, freedom, democracy, honesty, integrity, and equal opportunity for all.
It did not matter where you came from, if you had money, or a higher education; the American dream was for everyone and not just for a select few.
Where else in the world did we see, “In G-d we Trust”?
A country where the fabric of everyday affairs was linked to a higher moral authority, i.e. G-d.
A country with a moral compass, and with a clear and just constitution, a shield for ‘we the people’, that withstood any attempt to corrupt, to disadvantage and to suppress or censor.
Growing up I remember watching American news and never knowing what the anchor or reporter was thinking or feeling, they just reported the news; neutrality was the name of the game.
I never knew what candidate or political ideology the network or station supported.
News was about reporting current events, stating facts, and not expressing personal opinions, that is what editorials were for.
Today, when watching the news, you wonder what happened to the code of ethics and the duty to report the news with impartiality, without trying to sway the viewer, but rather to inform him.
What about respecting the viewer that gave you their trust, to get honest and unbiased reporting and allowing them to make up their own mind and opinion.
What happened to equal and fair coverage?
What happened to giving all the facts (good or bad) about both candidates?
What happened to freedom of speech?
In what democracy do we see an anchor or network censoring a President talking to the people?
A president is a representative of the people, so censoring the President is censoring the people.
In what democracy is such a scenario acceptable?
Since when did news reporters or networks become elected representatives of the people?
Since when did reporters or cable networks became activists that no longer follow a code of honor and honest reporting?
Why is the medium of mass communication through TV, Radio, and Newspapers, used to push personal agendas and support one candidate or party?
Why is brainwashing the only option or the new norm?
Where are those heroes that informed and enlightened us, the ‘ordinary folks’?
Those unbiased, unjudgmental and truth-seeking reporters, networks, and newspapers that we so admired, are just a faint memory.
Today’s media and news reporting (if we can still call it so) is about ratings, money, and smear campaigns. Who cares about the Truth? It does not sell anyway.
What happened to that great Country? To, ‘In G-d we Trust’?
Where has Kindness gone? Civility, what is that?
Is name calling and bashing people the new way to refer and characterize someone?
Where is Tolerance?
Where is Fairness?
What about the Truth?
What about love and unity?
Aren’t you stronger when united, and weakened when divided?
Where are the core values that made America a true example and the admiration of many?
When did democracy as we know it disappear?
Is mind control the only way to win?
Is winning at any cost the new rule or norm?
Does the end justify any means? The Nazis thought so.
What happened to peaceful disagreement or friendly competition? Is hate truly the new way?
Is freedom of speech a thing of the past?
Is mainstream media the only voice that matters?
Is what people want and who they want no longer relevant?
Can democracy survive?
Democracy without freedom of speech? Is like a body without a soul.
What went wrong? How did America lose sight of what is at stake? Hello, what about inalienable constitutional rights and constitutionally protected liberties?
No government and by extension people should allow mainstream media to be judge and jury, to hide facts, to pick and choose what to report, to hold back information, or even worse lie or make up scenarios that do not exist or that support what they want the viewer to believe. All in the hope to influence you and to make you hate who they hate. How immoral?
This is not the American way.
Is this a new era? Democracy is gone, constitutional rights no more.
Now putting politics aside, what about basic civility and respect, for all human beings, and more so, to ones in public office, respecting their position and by extension the people they represent, and yes, even when they are not the candidate of our choice.
When society loses basic civility, it is the first sign that their democracy is in jeopardy.
We cannot tolerate a society that labels people as good or bad, that promotes hate and division. And I can hear each side saying, “this is what they are doing, not us”.
Can each side look at themselves first, before faulting the other side? The way you judge someone is the way you will be judged. So, think hard about what you are doing or promoting.
I remind you that the beauty of living in a democracy is that everyone can have a voice and can have a different opinion from yours. ‘We can all agree to disagree’, peacefully, respectfully.
Freedom of speech with no censorship, and so we thought.
But when the opinion of others is suppressed, and not given equal opportunity, and when the new normal is, “if you do not think like me, you don’t count or worse”.
Then democracy as we knew it, is gone.
We are in trouble, and our current reality is only a pretense of democracy.
Where are we heading? Think about it.
Is this the new America? Is this what America stands for?
And to paraphrase what a wise man once said, ‘The world in which we live is not a jungle, where brute force, cunning and unbridled passion rule supreme, … everyone is accountable to one’s daily conduct.’
And Remember these words? ‘I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, One Nation under G-d, Indivisible with Liberty and Justice for all.’
Is it too late, is America as we knew it gone?
No! I know it is not so. Because in ‘G-d we Trust’.